Saturday, December 31, 2011

Transitions and Transformations

If I had to pick one quote that best sums up 2011 for me, it would be this:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anis Nin ~

I started the year taking steps to return to therapy.  Long story short, I spent most of my life denying and repressing a lot of pain and anger dealing with various things that happened in my childhood.  I don't share this to garner sympathy but rather to simply share parts of who I am and how all those convoluted pieces went in to shaping who I am today.

The journey back to therapy however was fraught with a lot of challenges and limitations.  Thanks to the government caring more about waging wars in other countries, bailing out Wall Street, and tip toeing towards an Orwellian State leaving less and less money in programs such as mental health, I ended the year being cut off due to budget cuts.  This is a sad story for many people so I'm not the only one.

But I digress.

I had a dozen sessions over the course of the year that laid the groundwork for what I need to do and it gave me the gift of some tools I can use to finish the journey I set out on. There's no going back now.  There have been many dark days. There have been times I've thought it would be easier to just give up.  There have been moments when I've wondered if I would ever emerge on the other side with the hope that yes, I'm strong enough, brave enough, and worthy enough to fight this battle and to eventually win.

We're all survivors.  Whatever journey we are on individually, collectively we all pretty much want the same thing in our lives, in other lives, and in the world as a whole.  To find peace and ultimately to experience love and to be open to that giving us the strength and the courage to face whatever demons or battles we may have.

It was a year of transitions and transformations for me in many ways, especially emotionally.  It's been a shift in consciousness for me and it's only the beginning.  The darkness no longer constantly dominates my world.  It's a constant battle but the tide is turning and I find myself growing a little stronger every day despite occasional setbacks and self doubts.  Failure is simply not an option. 

The biggest and best tool each of us have in our battles with whatever we are facing or fighting for is LOVE.  The love of your family, friends, yourself, pets, even the world in all it's warped and demented glory.  People everywhere are fighting back and coming together in their communities.  More people are speaking up against the slaughtering of whales and dolphins globally. More people are making headway in protecting organic farmers by pushing out factory farming and Monsanto.  More people are pushing back against the governments attempts at tyranny and their various destructive ways against humanity and the environment.  And it stems from the love people have for all living things and the world.  Sure this may sound naive, corny, even wishful thinking.

But the Age of Aquarius is upon us.  2012 means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  For me it doesn't mean the end of the world is coming on Dec 21, 2012.  It means the old world is coming to an end and as the Golden Age transitions, we too are all in that state of transition towards creating a more peaceful and loving planet.  This transition has been occurring for some time now and it will continue.  Much like the snake needs to shed it's skin to grow a new one, we are all doing the same thing.  It's not easy.  It's never going to be easy. But as Jimi Hendrix has said, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

Whenever I feel like giving up or when I question whether or not it's all worth it, I only need to look into the eyes of my dog and have them looking back at me with unconditional love.  I only need to have a hug from a friend or to hear "I love you" from my family.  And sometimes all I need is to see the sun shining when I wake up in the morning and feel it inspiring me to start my day with a smile.

Whatever your journey is and wherever it may lead for you, I wish you peace and love in this coming New Year and beyond. 

Namaste :-)


  1. Wow. I loved that quote you opened with. My first thought was to comment on that. But then as I read on I saw more and more things I wanted to say something about... But I can't quite find the right words.

    What I am able to say is that I am very, very proud of you. This journey of self-healing you've undertaken is not an easy one, and you are doing it against stacked odds, yet not giving up. That's tremendous.

    I was so happy to read this: >>The darkness no longer constantly dominates my world. It's a constant battle but the tide is turning and I find myself growing a little stronger every day>> Again, just no words. But so, so glad for you.

    Many hugs,

  2. Mary, thank you. Your words, support, and encouragement mean more than I can tell you :-)

    Many hugs to you as well ...